My Carbon Copy

"How in the world did THIS happen? Well, I mean, I know how this happened, but...Really! How could this happen?" Ben & I had been married for just over five months. I was still a teenager. We had not planned on having children so soon. In fact, we had never really talked seriously about having children, other than to say that we'd probably wait five years or so.

Ben was the youth pastor at Court Street at the time. I was very happily working as sales manager for Church Art Works, a Christian graphic design firm. Our life was pretty good. We both loved our jobs and felt comfortable with our way of life. Those, I suppose, are the words that God looks for: feeling comfortable in our way of life. Settled. It's then that He knows it's time for change. Time to step out of the comfort zones we create for ourselves and continue on our journey to become more like Christ.

Pregnancy. That'll rattle ye olde comfort zone.

Becca was the first person that I told. At the time, she was in our youth group, but I've always viewed her as a friend, a kindred spirit. I was thankful to be able to share the news with someone as I was trying to grasp the idea of leaving work and becoming a stay-at-home mom. Most people were rather surprised when they heard the news. "So soon!" they would say. And thus began the lifelong duty of breaking out the calculator when anyone asks "Pastor Ben" how old our daughter is in comparison to how long we've been married.

Rebecca Gabrielle entered the world at 7:26am on January 17, 1995.

As unplanned as Gabby was, I have always known that if God hadn't chosen the timing for us, the day may never have come. I think I could have continually made excuses for why the time wasn't right to have children. But praise God, His ways our better than ours!

Gabby was born old. That's how Ben puts it. She has always been extremely organized and responsible. She has always been into doing her hair and nails. She has always been extremely competitive. She has always been athletic. She has always loved animals and been terrified of spiders. She has always been strong-willed. She has always wondered what other people are thinking of her.

She is just like me.

Did your mother ever look at you in desperation and utter, "I hope you have a daughter just like you someday." Mine did. She loved me dearly, but I heard these words more than once. The Mother's Curse, it's called. In my case, however, it has been more of a blessing than a curse.

Because Gabby is so like me, we have the ability to gel so well. Many times, I have the privilege of knowing exactly what she is thinking. I absolutely love getting our hair done together, or going shopping, or listening to music together or talking about life. We get each other. But, there are times when our strong-willed cores take-over and we find ourselves in a stare down. Fortunately, I have age and wisdom on my side and I've learned how to defuse these situations more times than not. My mom was at a disadvantage with me because our cores were different. She would bestow that "curse" on me out of sheer frustration. I, however, would say those words to Gabby out of a hope that one day she could experience the joys of raising a daughter like her someday. She is wonderful.

Gabby loves the Lord. That is the biggest joy in my life, for my children to love God as I do. I know that as she travels through middle school and high school there will be many tests and diversions for her to face and overcome, but I know that her foundation is strong and any wavering that may take place won't last long. I have already seen this in her.

I am extremely proud of Gabby and I love her more than I could have ever imagined. I thank God for allowing me to raise His child. She is a beautiful girl, inside and out.

~

And, for the record, I'm quite certain that my mom would not have traded me in. We had our moments, but she's very happy to have a granddaughter that's just like her own daughter.